So horrible was the dream I found myself in last night that when I woke up I thought to myself, ‘Well, that’s my day ruined. Might as well just stay here.’ But I knew I’d end up stewing in my despair, and then that despair would end up bleeding into tomorrow and I’d spend tomorrow being a miserable fuck too. So I got up.
Like the tide, the dream kept coming back (the worst ones always do, don’t they?) so I thought that, instead of writing about what I was going to write about – the complicated relationship I have with my face – I thought posting something ‘joyful’ would help me ease up and maybe slow down the incessant dreadful feelings I was sinking deep into.
So I decided to create a vision wall. I’ve been meaning to piece one together for months but I’ve been putting it off, saying to myself ‘Time is precious, and I don’t know where the blu tack is…and it takes ages to stick everything up…and…*insert another shitty excuse here.*’
Turns out the blu tack wasn’t difficult to find, and I enjoyed (very much actually) the process of choosing the postcards, pictures and photos that were speaking to me the loudest, then arranging them on the wall above my writing desk. It was a thoroughlygood use of my time.
Now whenever I look up from whatever sentence I’m wrangling with, I’m greeted with imagery that invigorates my heart, reminds me of why I do what I do, and inspires me to keep moving North, until I get to a place cold enough to call home.
*A Place Cold Enough To Call Home – I think I’ll have to use this as a book title.
What I Listened To While Writing This Post
I started off listening to First Aid’s Kit cover of Fever Ray’s When I Grow Up which was nice. Then I thought I’d listen to some more First Aid Kit, which was not a good idea. It just made me really sad.
4 thoughts on “My Vision Wall”
I love the idea of a vision wall. And I love the fact that so many of these have such backstories and connections, like the one of the farm and barn where you spent time as a kid. I think my favourites might be the Bauer and Sohlberg pictures (the moonlight in the Sohlberg one…), and the Rima Staines one (‘Telling Stories to the Trees’… I like that title as much as the artwork!). Thorsmork looks so beautiful – I would love to visit that place. Am intrigued by the conservation volunteering you mentioned; I’d like to know more about that!
Thank you so much for this lovely comment Abi! 🙂 I think about that farm (and the barn!) almost everyday, and all the wonderful memories that were made there. I’ll probably talk more about it in a future post. Oh my goodness, the moonlight in the Sohlberg one, yes!!! My heart sings whenever I look up at it. Rima Staines is such a magickal woman. I’ve been following her creative journey for quite a while now. I adore everything she makes. Volunteering in Iceland was one of the BEST experiences of my life. If you can do it, DO IT! Here is a link to the website: https://ust.is/english/volunteers/ Please do let me know if you end up doing it! x
I’d be interested to read a post about the farm and barn and all if you do decide to write one. Have been looking at more of Rima Staines’ art this past weekend. Pleased to see her depicting the likes of Baba Yaga. 🙂 Thank you for the link to the Iceland volunteering – my instinctive reaction is ‘aaah, no no no, I’m too much of a wuss for that, couldn’t possibly’ but well, I’m going to hold on to the information about it. Who knows. 🙂
Her depictions of Baba Yaga are some of the most wonderful I’ve ever seen. I’m so happy you like them. ❤ Please do hold into the information…and I really hope you investigate further into it. Honestly, the experience changed my for the better in so many ways. I want to do it all over again! x