My moods have been cycling so rapidly recently that I don’t know which way is up. I have to repeatedly ask what day/date it is and I’m zoning out all the time. Waking up crying has become the norm and I’m being referred to a heart specialist because the medication I’ve been on for ten years is affecting my heartbeat. Life, all in all, is really hard.
But…
Writing helps. And reading helps. And beachcombing helps. And making jewellery helps. But I’ve had to give myself permission to go beachcombing and to make jewellery, and that wasn’t an easy thing to do. When I’m making things with my hands, peace surrounds me for a brief time. And then, wearing something I’ve made…it empowers me and fills me with a sense of pride that I rarely have a chance to experience.
I wanted a pair of icicle earrings because, in my head and heart it’s always winter. I experimented with borax crystals. Oh, I was so excited! But they didn’t form. And, while it was a painful defeat, I needed a plan B.
So, I’ve used a piece of glass for one earring, and a piece of quartz crystal for the other, as well as air dry clay and silver acrylic paint. I had no idea what I was doing when I made them…but I’m so proud of how they’ve ended up.
Celebrating the strange and the shadowy, the damned and unseen 
They are attractive and impressively made. And I won’t say I know what you’re going through because I don’t. But I’ve had heart disease for a while now (not all my life so that it seems I’m always trying to get used to it), and I do know for me that the treatments are sometimes as challenging as the disease itself.
Thank you so much. And thank you also for sharing your experience. I’ll keep you updated about the situation with my heart. I’m quite anxious about it, but trying to keep my mind occupied so I don’t think about it all the time.