The other day I was writing about being happy and listing some of the things I’ve been consciously doing every day as acts of self-care and preservation. (If you haven’t read that post, I suggest you do that now, then come back here.) I’m still happy, though a bit scattered because my day was derailed thanks to a broken radiator.
Working Everyday On My ONE Thing. My ONE Thing right now is my upcoming poetry collection. If I move forward with this project but don’t achieve much more of anything else, it’s ok because I’ve done what’s most important. What helps me achieve My ONE Thing (because even though I love my book, there are some days I don’t want to look at it) is what’s known as ‘The Seinfeld Strategy.’ The ‘strategy’ is to get a calendar and, for each day the ONE Thing gets done, put a big X over that day. Jerry Seinfeld explains further: “After a few days, you’ll have a chain. Just keep at it, and the chain will grow longer every day. You’ll like seeing that chain, especially when you get a few weeks under your belt. Your only job is to not break the chain.” You may scoff at this and its simplicity, but it’s really damn effective. There’s an excellent article about the ‘strategy’ by James Clear. I also recommend The One Thing by Gary Keller, which kick-started this whole My ONE Thing thing for me.
Avoiding The News. The other day, I talked to my neighbour about feeling torn up for not watching the news. I was worried about being selfish for not ‘keeping up to date’ with everything happening in the world. He promptly put me at ease by saying there are more people than I think who do precisely the same thing. I used to check the BBC website and The Guardian every morning, a few times during the day and then again at night. It was rare I’d come away feeling anything other than utter despair. There have been instances, quite a few, where the whole day has fallen apart because of a news article I’ve read. That isn’t all that surprising, considering the hellish state of the planet, but still. Most people are better equipped to handle devastating news stories than I am. Since avoiding the news, there’s been a recognisable difference in the stability of my mood, and that’s evidence enough that I’m doing myself a favour by maintaining distance.
Having Great Sex. Over the past several weeks, I’ve hooked up with numerous interesting, hot, witty men folk who’ve been instrumental in helping me on my journey to feeling sexy and happy with the body I’m in. I’ve deviated from my routine at short notice and it’s been so much fun. I’m not an expert at having fun, you see, not by any means, and I’m re-learning what it means to play and enjoy something simply for the sake of just enjoying it, not because it’s leading to something else, not because it’s another thing to tick off the ‘to do’ list. Plus, I always feel so god damn joyously invincible after an orgasm (or several); you can never have too much of that.
Having A Chai Latte In The Afternoon. In an earlier post, I talked about denying myself one of my favourite drinks, despite being in the cupboard because I’m an ‘expert at punishing myself.’ Well, I’ve stopped doing that. Since that post, I’ve had a chai latte almost every afternoon. Besides going through my soya milk faster than usual and needing to buy more in, I have ZERO regrets.
Connecting With Friends And Good Conversations. One daily interaction I’m incredibly thankful for is one I have with my neighbour. We have a daily ritual where once a day (at least), I’ll pop around for a cup of tea and sometimes something sweet to eat. (We’re currently eating lots of Eccles cakes and date and walnut scones.) When I’m there, we’ll talk about anything and everything. This morning, for example, we talked about India’s economy and my anxiety regarding an upcoming MRI scan. I can easily climb into my head and stay there for days, but knowing I have a friend next door whose always ready to listen is one of the most precious things imaginable.
Blogging Daily. I love blogging. I’ve loved blogging since I started doing it in 2004 on Live Journal. Unless I’m typing tired, I lose track of time when writing here. This is my space, my sanctuary. I’m not under the tyranny of any billionaire social media rulers. What’s here is mine, and it’s sacred. I also delight in publishing something that I’ve conjured out of nothing every day, it’s evidence, to me, that I’m working on my craft, and there’s real magic in that.
Celebrating the strange and the shadowy, the damned and unseen 
Where do you find such men!? Asking for a friend (seriously, I’ve realised I’m asexual).
I’ve been on Bumble! Much, MUCH better than Tinder. X