For those of you who’ve been here a while, you’ll be pretty familiar with my mental health struggles. For those of you who are visiting for perhaps the first time, I should let you know that for almost a year I’ve been submerged in a depressive episode so deep and dark that at times, I thought I’d never surface.
The other day though, a few hours after depression had tried, yet again, to convince me to end my life, it dawned on me what I needed to do – walk north.
At first, I agreed with myself that I’d walk from one end of Norway to the other. Then I realised that I wanted to hike Iceland too. And then I thought ‘but what about Finland? You’ve got to hike Finland. And fuck it, why not Sweden and the Faroe Islands too?’ I don’t feel intimated by the challenge. No. I actually strongly believe walking these great distances across landscapes that fascinate me will heal my mental wounds better than talking therapy could.
With all the restrictions that are currently in place across Europe, I feel edgy and restless. There’s no saying when I’ll be able to start. (I want to begin my quest to healing with Iceland.) But I’m going to try and use this time in lockdown to plan and prepare…mostly by reading inspirational quotes on Goodreads about walking. I jest. Partly. But yeah. This is what I’ve decided to do to heal my very damaged mind.